The Right to Choose All of Life’s Roles
July 23, 2012 § Leave a comment
My local radio station airs a series called Perspectives that features members of the community and their thoughts on whatever strikes their fancy. This morning I listened to Jeremy Sherman share his perspective on talking politics with a libertarian friend he often disagrees with, and it boiled down to this: people don’t like talking about things they find boring, so details that don’t interest them – in his friend’s case, the complicated balance between necessary constraints and individual freedoms in society – are ignored and so strongly held beliefs are justified only with ideal-based rationalizations. Which makes sense to me – when two people are exclusively focused on separate aspects of an issue, it’s easy to wind up arguing over ideals without realizing you’re actually talking about completely different things. Getting into specifics can help you find common ground in shared beliefs.
So let’s talk details. The title of this post comes from one of my favorite chapters of (recently retired) Judge Nancy Gertner’s book, In Defense of Women, and here are some specific roles I think we should all be able to choose for ourselves free from social criticism or judgment:
- Stay-at-home mother/father
- Unmarried adult, whether or not you have children
- Primary family provider, regardless of sex/gender
- A romantically involved person, regardless of each person’s sex/gender
- A sexually-active person who has no intention of having children
Not an exhaustive list by any means, but that’s the beauty of details: we can always add more.